When one counsels or lectures women on self defense, it is very handy to understand what MIGHT attract predators to attack them. While it is dangerous to oversimplify this subject, I think it that certain principles apply to most situations. I've worked for many years in the abuse field and talked to to literally thousands of victims, and also run groups  to help violent offenders stop their bad behaviors. These are some basic principles I think apply most generally.

Predators look for:
1)  People who are nice, helpful, kind and a perhaps naive.
2)  People who are small, young,  or physically weak.
3)  People who let them invade their space.
4)  People who are all alone in isolated areas.
5) .Strays. People who are marginalized or separated from the group.

So lets make it plain, PEOPLE ARE OFTEN VICTIMIZED BECAUSE THEY ARE NICE and TRUSTING! In his book  THE GIFT OF FEAR  , self defense expert  Gavin de Becker  makes this plain that, women in particular, are often victimized due to being "too nice." They ignore their inner voice which tells them to beware, and try to help people who are making them feel uncomfortable and nervous. He gives the example of a woman raped after she let a strange man help carry her groceries up to her apartment, or the woman who let a strange man in "to use the phone to get help with a broken car" who was also assaulted.

At the child abduction site  http://www.mollybish.org the parents of abducted and murdered teen, Molly Bish, recount how their daughter Molly was abducted from her life guard post at a rural lake by some predator -- mostly likely pretending to need help. In  this incident Molly met four of the criteria most predators seem to use to select a victim. She was young, alone and by virtue of her job as a life guard, needed to help whom ever asked for it. In her case, she probably felt obliged to help someone due to her job. It lead to her death.

The Department of Justice in their statistical surveys of the FBI Crime date report that the average rape victim is a 14 year old girl from a poor family. This would fit the criteria of being young, perhaps alone as latchkey kids, often from a marginalized socio-economic group.

When I ran a group to help treat violent male offenders, they shared with me and my co-facilitator how they picked victims. They looked for -- as one member said, "the perception of vulnerability." They reported using the "trick" of violating the personal space to a possible victim as a "test" to see whether or not to proceed. In  sample scenario they would target a young woman at a bus stop. They would move in close to her, far closer than one would normally tolerate. They would watch to see if they got a mean look, or if the intended victim moved away from them. If they just stood there and tolerated the bumping and pushing, then the predator would try touching the intended victim and try to engage them in conversation. If they didn't not move away from them and try to ignore them, then the predators in the group all agreed this victim was a prime target. They would ride along with her and chat her up on the bus. Then follow her home and assault her, either on the way home or at her apartment. If you feel you have been in this situation  I hope you feel a chill. I can recall many times that I moved away from people at bus stops in my young poor artist phase of life because I thought they were creepy.  I was young (and looked much younger than my age), poor, and short and skinny at barely five feet tall and 100 pounds... Prime meat to a predator... I probably stopped an attempted attack with out knowing it!

But many women are programed to "be nice" way past the point of self preservation. They end up as the victims of predators, who indeed give each other helpful tips in jail on how to better attack people. As possible victims,  women need to be even better at sharing with each other just how to avoid these sort of people.

The best way to avoid a sexual assault is to look like a tall, robust, well off, middle aged woman. If you look too well off, you might get mugged for your purse, but not sexually assaulted. You should travel in the company of others if at all possible, particularly in isolated spots.

So to sum up. In order not to be victimized try to look older, bigger, and heavier than you are, and travel with friends. Don't let people violate your personal space even a bit! This will give a potential predator the signal you are easy prey.

To get more ideas check out these sites:

Read  The GIFT of FEAR by Gavin de Becker, a very fine book.

 MollyBish.org  a very fine abduction prevention site.

Check out your state's listing of   KNOWN SEXUAL OFFENDERS.

Read the free information at the  US Department of Justice.
  copyright 2003 Lili Pintea-Reed